


this hurricane's chasing us all underground

by Ivory_Gold



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Adam has conflicting feelings towards Cherry, Angst, Break Up, Character Study, M/M, Not Beta Read, adam pov, implied panic attack, mentions of abuse at Adam's household
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 13:55:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30123831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivory_Gold/pseuds/Ivory_Gold
Summary: The reason why Ainosuke left Kaoru behind.
Relationships: Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom/Shindo Ainosuke | Adam
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	this hurricane's chasing us all underground

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to Hurricane by Thirty Seconds To Mars. Then this fic happened.
> 
> Hopefully, Adam isn't too OOC.

It was the hardest decision in Ainosuke’s life but god knows he doesn’t regret it one bit.

Kaoru was left heartbroken. Tears were streaming down his face, hands gripping a skateboard so hard his knuckles turned white. Kaoru asked why Ainosuke was breaking up with him. Ainosuke lied that he fell out of love, and was moving to America to find something or someone worth his time and attention. Somehow, he lasted for the entirety of their conversation. Once he turned around the corner leaving Kaoru crying alone, Ainosuke thought he was on the verge of a panic attack. 

There was no other choice though. There was no other way to save Kaoru from the future full of broken promises, secrets and prayers for the better times that would never come. 

Ainosuke’s family is a nightmare. They crush and burn everyone, the outsiders and their own flesh and blood. They have no issues with physical and verbal abuse, setting over the top expectations in his professional and private life, dictating what and who he’s allowed to like and dislike. 

_ You must become the youngest Diet member. _

_ You must marry a respectable woman worthy of the Shindo family name. _

_ You must not think of men in an inappropriate manner. _

_ You must be the best at what you do. _

_ You must be humble. _

_You must break the law for the sake of the family if necessary._

_ You must. You must. You must. _

He always owes his family everything in return for nothing. Ainosuke often questions if they really love him as they say or is he there to be used as their puppet and tortured for any signs of disobedience.

He didn’t want this life for Kaoru. Kaoru deserved someone who could be openly in love with him, who would allow the boy to be his authentic self to eventually become a strong independent man, who would protect him from the harsh world without any hesitations and holdbacks.

Ainosuke could never be that someone.

Ainosuke used to have hope. The teenager would lie in his bed late at night and dream of the alternative reality where he and Kaoru fly off to the US, travel together enjoying being young and in love. He promised himself he’d discreetly get money from his trust fund, enough for them to get university degrees and find jobs later. He imagined them getting married and spending their lives in each other’s arms.

Sometimes these empty fantasies brought him to tears, leaving him breathless as he was clutching his pillow and cursing the universe for making him a Shindo. Why did he have to be born in this fucked up family?

Eventually, stress at home started affecting his life outside the poisonous mansion.

Ainosuke knew he was changing for the worse. While he was the most pleasant boy on the outside, the pent up anger and pain were rotting him on the inside. He’s not sure anymore what’s the difference between love and pain, or is there one at all? Ainosuke wants to hurt people, he wants to punish the world for all it promised him and never delivered.

His lovely Cherry Blossom, the nickname Ai gave to his boyfriend, was meant to bloom, not to be stepped upon. So, Ainosuke made the decision to let the flower in his hand be blown away by the harsh wind in hopes it will become the most beautiful cherry blossom tree one day.

Many years have passed. Ainosuke and Kaoru have changed. One is a successful politician, the other is a well-known calligraphist. They achieved the goals they were meant to, either by their own will or not.

Ainosuke keeps the distance between them, refusing to accept beefs or communicate in any way other than in the form of mockery. Ainosuke loves all his skating partners equally. He can’t love Kaoru the same way because he’s always been special. He can’t love his Cherry Blossom in the way Ainosuke’s family loves its heir.

Tonight, he has no choice but to race against Kaoru. 

Ainosuke doesn’t want to love him. He doesn’t want to hurt him.

But Kaoru can’t keep chasing him. He has to move on. He has to let go of Ainosuke.

Ainosuke makes a quick decision for which he’s going to hate himself for the rest of his life. As his skateboard makes contact with Kaoru’s face, and the man falls on the ground, something breaks inside Ainosuke. Perhaps, he has just lost the last bit of humanity he had left in him.

But a part of him is aching.

_ Kaoru, you understand I don’t find you boring, yes? I never have. How can I find a person smart enough to build an AI skateboard, skilled enough to dodge Love Hug, sharp enough to realise why I refuse your beefs boring? Please, forgive me, my lovely Cherry Blossom. _

Not two minutes have passed when Kojiro runs up to Kaoru and holds him gently, making sure Cherry is conscious and isn’t hurt too badly. As Ainosuke observes his former friend and ex lover, he briefly wonders how the things would have turned out had he not been born into the Shindo family. Would he be the one by Kaoru’s side now? He wonders.

“I guess neither of you two will race against me in the end,” comments Ainosuke in the cruelly teasing voice.

Kojiro looks at Ainosuke with pity in his eyes.

“Yes, you are truly alone now,” replies Joe as he picks up Cherry bride style and carries him to the staff car.

Kojiro is wrong. 

He has his Eve, he’s not alone, he has found his true equal, the one who will be able to handle his love, who will enjoy it, who will reciprocate, won’t be left broken by it, he’s not alone, he’s not alone, Kaoru was weak, he was Ainosuke’s weakness, he can’t have a weakness, Ainosuke can’t be weak, weak people won’t be able to receive love, the love he was taught to appreciate and give, Kaoru can’t be loved in the way Ainosuke knows.

_ Sorry, my lovely Cherry Blossom, but I have no regrets. _

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on twitter: @miya_tsumu


End file.
